Last week, a co-worker mentioned she was in a Masters (is there an apostrophe in Masters?) program that's almost directly related to the work we do here. With all the retirements and flux around here, I've been quietly snooping about for some extra schooling for myself, and this program seems really solid.
I've been dabbling with the (thankfully) online application (ugh - essay!) and am getting close to tossing my hat in the ring. The worst part of the process has been pulling transcripts from previous schools. I know I was a mediocre student, but I somehow managed to remain blissfully unaware of just how bad my GPA could look to others. Now that I'm holding faxed transcripts and re-reading my unfortunate grades, I'm feeling awfully dumb. I know I'm smart (certainly "smart enough"), and I can muster up a work ethic as needed, but my problem with schooling has always been that I'm extremely literal. I do exactly what's asked of me, and it never occurs to me (until much later) that I should be doing more. If a professor asks for a 10 page paper with 7 cited resources, that's exactly what I'll write. I also have an extremely hard time drawing any conclusions beyond what I read in assigned materials. If we're reading about, say, urban design and three different authors advocate three different building styles, I'm likely to find the one I like best, and not bother to think that there might be a 4th option. I work with what I'm given and don't think to seek out more.
In college and my previous year of grad school, I knew I was absolutely average, but I wasn't able to boil it down to quite the conclusions I have here. Perhaps knowing my weaknesses will help me to avoid my old academic pitfalls? The optimist in me says yes :) I also had a long talk w/ the bf yesterday that left me feeling a lot more positive about this endeavor. It's amazing what a difference it makes when you've got people who believe in you, believe in your intelligence, and who you know will stick with ya during the academic panic attacks. If it all works out, the bf'll get to see things from the other side. He can have all the free time in the evenings, and I can whine about assignments and procrastination. Fun, fun.

I think I'm too late to be starting the application process, and receiving financial aid is going to be tricky, but y'know what? I don't care. I'm gonna try for it anyway. Worse comes to worst, I'm out an application fee, and I have another rejection letter to add to the pile. So what? I'm an author - I'm way behind the curve in rejection letter quotas. I should have at least a ream of them by my age. Time to get cracking.

*heh* It's easier (and a heck of a lot quicker) to submit a graduate application than a story. If this all works out, I'll face my first NaNoWriMo as a student. Maybe that'll finally light the right fire under me. Bonus - I get to finally use research and academic writing as padding! Er...not that I pad, or anything. Well, other than pop culture references, that is.

So, yeah...that's what I'm up to on the side. Trying to get in the headspace of a student.

More news and some linkspam coming soon...